the world can be sucha loney place.

yeah, alot of you know me as that strong, independent, "don't need anyone" chick. Maybe that's right, i don't even know honestly. Do i need someone? Or am i fine on my own.. I don't talk much about my feelings or problems, i usually just act happy and try doing something to get my mind off stuff when i'm around friends, because honestly, no one wants to hear that kinda crap or help deal with it, so best just suck it up and smile, But i can't ignore it all when i'm sitting at home, alone, it's nearly impossible. I don't feel like doing anything, but just sitting here listening to sad music. Whats wrong with me? I think i might have depression due to the woman who i call mom and guys. Guys always used me, play me and spit me right back out. "Your a strong person, your not the type of girl who gets played" Yeah, maybe i am, maybe i was . . it's different now, i think I bring the hurt onto myself believing in people who i shouldn't have and creating images of happiness that clearly never comes true. So stupid of me to believe any of those guys would actually sincerely like me. When i like someone.. i look way too far into it, and i feel too much when i shouldnt. Why should i care when those guys dont ? When they prob have other girls they flirt with and fool around with, im so stupid to think they would like me and stick with one girl, foolish to think it would be me.. I don't understand at all. Am i not pretty enough? Am i not interesting? Why don't guys like me.. for me , or even other people. I guess what i'm wanting.. is acceptance . Maybe i don't even need that either, maybe i just stand out, or maybe i'm just thinking too highly of myself. "i stand out?" yeah prob thinking too highly.